There are days when I look at my child and feel overwhelming love.
And then there are days when I quietly miss the person I used to be before motherhood.
I miss doing things without planning every minute.
I miss finishing a cup of tea while it’s still hot.
I miss having energy left for myself after taking care of everyone else.
Somewhere between office meetings, household responsibilities, sleepless nights, and endless to-do lists, I slowly stopped recognizing myself. And the hardest part? Nobody really talks about this openly.
Motherhood is often shown as pure joy — and yes, it is beautiful. But it is also exhausting, emotional, confusing, and deeply transforming. Sometimes, while being everything for everyone else, mothers silently grieve the version of themselves they had to leave behind.
For working mothers especially, this feeling becomes even heavier. You are expected to be productive at work, emotionally available at home, physically present everywhere, and mentally strong all the time. The pressure to “balance it all” can make you feel guilty for even admitting that you are struggling.
But missing your old self does not mean you love your child any less.
It simply means you are human.
And maybe healing starts when mothers stop pretending they are okay all the time.
At HOPE+, we believe motherhood conversations should include honesty too — not just sacrifice and perfection. Because behind every “strong mother” is also a woman trying to hold herself together quietly.
If you have ever felt this way, you are not alone.